Why you should not let 4-year olds cook

Okay, this week's lesson actually took about a week in order to make its point. And, with every lesson, we have to remind ourselves of the first lesson:

Lesson #1: You wanted kids. You brought this on yourself. They didn't ask to be here, you made them come. Are you having fun yet?

Most of the time, it really is fun. Or, more specifically, FUNNY. Especially when you get to read this and don't have to clean it up. So, here is our next lesson...

Lesson#422: Never let a 4-year old "cook" in the kitchen without making sure you know WHAT he is cooking and (more importantly) WHERE he puts the "food" when he's done.

In Matthew's case, he was making "blueberry muffins". In his world, you make these muffins in a canister (see picture). The muffins are made with whatever you find in the canister (in this case, dry active yeast). You add some water. Then, an egg. Then, salami. And, you put in whatever else you think would be good for blueberry muffins. You stir it up with the handy spoon that is right there and then put the lid on it. You then slide it back next to all the other canisters and go off to bury the phone in the mud or play with your mom's makeup case. After, say, a week you have a really evil concoction that smells truly, unequivocally, in-your-face BAD. I think Julia described it best when she mentioned more than once, "Hey, what smells like bad fish food in here?" I finally went on the search today because, whatever this was, it was really getting bad. But, I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I looked BEHIND the canisters, in all the cabinets, under the dishwasher. It smelled like it was near the canisters. So, finally, I looked IN the canisters. one by one. It was in the smallest one (of course!) After I recovered from the "smell shock wave" I saw what resembled a goopy, bubbly brown-yellow soup that I briefly thought of bottling to use to wake up the kids next week after Spring Break ends (it really would have worked!) But, I figured it'd eat a hole in the bottom of any container that didn't have some kind of titanium reinforcement. I dumped it out and am now soaking the container in boiling water.

When I told Todd of the discovery, he remarked, "Ohh, yes, he was cooking last week. He was making muffins."