Another Lesson

This one is more of a "something to remember" lesson than one that was the result of any actions on the part of me or the kids (or Bucky).

Lesson #436: Always have a pen and something to write on within reach at all times. But, make sure that said pen is not a sharpie AND that it is not within reach of a 5-year old boy.

Why? Well, you just don't ever really know what will come out of the mouth of a child. A comedian would never have to write any material given enough time observing a group of 3-10 year old children. Examples? Here are are few from the last few days in our sphere of influence....

Matthew has declared for some time that his right foot "smells like cheeseburgers" and his left foot "smells like french fries". The other day, he said that his right foot instead "smells like chicken and Hi-C". But, you get the idea. Yesterday morning, he wakes up and declares that his right foot "still smells like cheeseburgers" but that his left foot was "stinky". When I asked him why, he just looked at me like I was a total idiot and said, "It just is. I don't know why!"

The second example needs a little background. Since school starts in a little more than a week, that means the kids have been out of school for a long, long time. So, they fight about everything. They get mad if they touch each other, look at each other, use too much shampoo, use too little shampoo, etc. etc. So, we were at the grocery store picking up some stuff. Matthew was busy smelling his feet in the cart. Julia and Allison were having some kind of argument about Rubik's cubes or gum balls or the insanity of considering a Cap and Trade bill with its real estate market-killing EPA compliance components. It really could have been anything and it doesn't matter what they fought about because it's usually nonsense (like the Cap and Trade bill...for crying out loud even **Greenpeace is against it!) ANYWAY, as they are walking to the car Julia murmurs something I didn't catch to Allison who loudly and adamantly responds: "It's not your business or concern Julia...whatever THAT means!"

I just about fell over laughing, as did the woman unloading groceries next to our car. As I sat writing it down, Allison looked at me and with an exasperated whine said "You're not going to write THAT down, are you?" Ohh yes, definitely a keeper!

The third example is courtesy of Matthew. He always says he likes white powdered doughnuts. But, he will often eat chocolate doughnuts too. So, today we had some chocolate doughnut holes (half-price) that I brought down to the pool for a snack. Matthew, after swimming for an hour, asked if I had any snacks. I held up the doughnut holes and when he saw them he broke into hysterics saying how he didn't want those, he didn't like those, and "No, those are YUCKY!" A few seconds later, in a very quiet and pleading voice he asked, "Can I try one???" I opened the box (suppressing laughing at his very pathetic expression) and gave him one "to try". He took a bite and squealed almost too excitedly, "Yummy!! This isn't yucky, it's yummy!" He then proceeded to run around to random people at the pool showing them his half-eaten doughnut hole proclaiming, "This isn't yucky! See!!!"

** I know that Greenpeace is against it because they don't believe that the bill does enough, not that they are opposed to it in principle. Their lack-of-support however does point out the lunacy of the bill which is heavily politically motivated and ultimately does little if anything to help the environment. It also disproportionally effects the poor.