More lessons for impaired moms...

Back to Matthew, but also still on me.

Lesson #435: Don't assume the refrigerator is broken if it's not running as it should AND there is a 5-year old boy living in the house.

Before you empty the entire refrigerator in a frenzy, before you start disconnecting hoses and taking things apart, before you wonder just what circle of hell selling a house has brought you to, and before you lose whatever sanity you may have had left trying to figure out why it worked FINE yesterday and all-of-a-sudden it's just not working today simply ask yourself the following questions:
1) "What is a 5-year old boy's favorite thing to play with?"
Answer: "Anything with buttons and knobs. And, everything else in the world."
2) "Has said boy played with the refrigerator in this way before?"
Answer: "Why, yes he HAS turned off the refrigerator before!"

This time, however, he turned one knob to the lowest setting so it looked on, and the other one to "off". See, the light still goes on when you open a refrigerator and it's been turned off instead of unplugged. I forgot that. And, in my haste (insanity) I only looked at the first knob that made it appear to be on. Then, and anyone who's been talking to me in the last two months will know this, I really am going nuts and I just assumed the worst and went straight past "let's think about this a second" to "can I really throw a frozen pizza like a frisbee from one freezer in the kitchen to one in the garage without it breaking?" (Incidentally, no you can't). But, we did set a record for emptying a refrigerator. And, it gave me an excuse to clean yet another thing. Sigh....

So, after emptying the fridge and while cleaning it out the logical part of my brain finally broke free of the crazy restraints and I looked at the other knob and realized my error. It's purring like a kitten now. I did have to resist the urge to hang the boy from the hummingbird feeder, but I doubt he even realizes what he did. And, if he does, he probably doesn't care at all. Another lesson learned.

For those not keeping score, in the last 4 days I've assaulted a lawn mower AND vacuum cleaner, shut the dog's tail in the car door, unintentionally rained death on innocent woodland inhabitants, set the gas grill on fire, and was seconds from dismantling a refrigerator that was just turned off. I wonder what the next few days have in store for me. Stay tuned, it'll probably be good.