Ohh my heaven, look who's 7!!!

It's hard to believe that 7 years ago we were living in Japan and were surprised by the early arrival of little Allison (for those who may have forgotten, the little stinker wasn't due until July!) It's hard to believe she's going into second grade too!

Rather than repeat the horror of the consecutive sleepover weekend of a month ago (Bucky is still recovering from the hearing loss), we opted to have a "Dinner and Movie" party. We had ushers and concession workers (Amanda, Julia, and Bobbi Ann) to guide the guests in, get them some candy and popcorn, and see them to their seats (in the living room). We had the "annoying child in the audience who keeps blocking the screen" (played by Matthew). We even had an intermission (pizza). The movie shown was Ferngully (it was old enough that nobody had seen it). Most everyone liked it, so that was good (a few parts were a little 'scary' for two guests). We had ice cream cake and then proceeded to destroy a pinata. And that all took 2 hours! It went fast, she got a bunch of stuff she really loved, and she's even written out all her thank you cards. Thanks again to everyone who made her day a great one :)

Smiley faces make everything okay :)

Today's lesson is more of a guideline to living in the world of Matthew.

Lesson #426: If you have a smiley face, not matter what you do everything is good and happy.

So, that means if you (for example) hit your sister or throw a fit or draw on the wall you are not in trouble IF you have a smiley face.

When Matthew did something yesterday that I considered naughty, I said to him, "Matthew, you're being bad." He responded with, "No, I not. I have a smiley face." He got in front of me and demonstrated that he did, in fact, have a smiley face. When I asked him to show me his angry face, it looked more like a constipated face. But, his smiley face is cute. It's hard to stay mad when they come up with such cute excuses.

The First Swim Meet

Last night was the first swim meet of the year. Because the water outside hasn't been exceedingly warm (water temps in the low 70s - which for pools is a bit chilly...most indoor pools are about 84 degrees in comparison), there haven't been too many practices. Those that we have had have not lasted very long (can you get hypothermia twice in a week?) So, most of the swimmers are a bit rusty.

Amanda has the best starts. She actually dives in. Hands entering first, head down, feet going in last. Julia jumps out...and enters either feet first or spread eagle. Allison enters the same way, only she also plugs her nose before entering the water. BUT, as bad as this sounds it seems to be the preferred method among a large percentage of the competitors.

So, each girl swam 3 races. Amanda, becuase she's moved up to the older division, has to swim 50's (2 laps) instead of the 25's she swam last year. She hung in there and managed to crank out freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke. Julia had the meet of her life (so far). She finished first in each of her races (well, she didn't finish first for her leg of the relay, but the relay team did win). Allison also had a great time. Did I mention she smiles while she's racing? That's not usually what you expect to see - but I think I got a picture of it.

We have a meet every week until we go on my "departure from sanity" (a.k.a. - the summer road trip).

(I threw in a picture of Matthew from Memorial Day - just because he HAD to wear that outfit. What you don't see is him falling on his face moments after putting on the goggles because they essentially make him blind. BUT, according to him, they are needed to "Keep my eyeses warm.")

Last Day of School

Okay, this is a little late - but here are a few pictures from the last day of school. Allison passed out about an hour after getting home (I guess the silly string has other side effects we weren't aware of). Matthew, fearing the noise from the thunderstorm, put on his extra "ears". He then fell asleep wearing them.

Happy Summer! I know, it's really early to get out. That's just not fair, right? Well, think about this: We go BACK to school August 10th. In Atlanta, it is almost as hot as the surface of the sun in August. Would it make more sense to make the year last a little longer in June? Of course! But, then again, sane people don't ever make the important decisions...

The Last Lap...

The tradition at Timber Ridge Elementary is for the 5th graders to take a few laps around the track at the end of their last day of school. All of the other grades, from Pre-K through 4th grade, line the track. The 5th graders come out last and do their "run" around the track and give and receive congratulatory high-fives to everyone lining the track. They made 4 laps around the track (those last few were more walking than running). Only one boy had to be chased down by the gym teacher (but was actually finally caught by the music teacher!) Apparently, he wanted to stay ...

Amanda had some mixed feelings about leaving. After getting off the bus, she was a bit sad and said, "I never get to go there again." I then reminded her that she'll be there plenty of times next year with her 3 siblings who still attend school at Timber Ridge. She seemed quite relieved by that.

Above are a few pictures from the occasion!

Graduation Recognition

Huh? Yes, graduation for 5th graders. Hey, we don't plan it - we just show up and clap when we're told (sort of like Matthew). In a few years, we get to do it again with both Julia (another 5th grade graduation) and Matthew (kindergarten graduation). We'll have true anarchy when Amanda graduates from high school and Matthew from 5th grade (what if it's on the same night?!?)

Anyway, Tuesday night was "Graduation Recognition" night for the 5th Graders at Timber Ridge Elementary. This means that they do a presentation honoring the 5th graders. And, for a sizeable portion of the night we also honored the volunteers who helped with all the graduation-related activites for the 5th grade class. We also had 2 tornado warnings just to spice it up a bit. It was fun, once we went through 9 kids presenting their volunteer moms with flowers and gifts. And, of course, all 5th graders - especially the boys - dream of doing this in front of a few hundred people! In a 5th grade boy's world, co-ed square dancing in gym class is less painful than having to express anything towards his mom (especially in public!) Thankfully, 5th grade girls don't apparently suffer from this affliction ...yet.

It was fun, and only ran about an hour late. Here are a few pictures of Amanda and friends...

Who I Like

by Matthew Linskey

Matthew and I had a short, but interesting, conversation today.

It started with Matthew saying,
"I like Allison. She my sister. I like her."

I asked,
"Do you like Amanda and Julia?"

"No."

"Do you like Amanda?"

"Uh-uh. No."

"Why not?"

"No, Amanda's mad."

"Do you like Julia?"

"No."

"Is she mad too?"

"No, I like Allison."

"Do you like Daddy?"

"Daddy? No."

"Do you like mommy?"

(And in an innocent voice with a big smile, he answers) "Yes???"

Good answer!!!

I'm not sure why he "doesn't like" anyone but Allison, but they are buddies. He has a big grin on his face when saying this, so I suspect that it's all for laughs...imagine that!

Lesson #425

Lesson #425 - NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER do a sleepover with more than 4 kids, or with more than 3 kids, or really with any kids if you can avoid it. Ohh, and don't do sleepovers on consecutive nights. Hire, blackmail, or bribe someone else to do it somewhere other than your house (where you will busy having your own sleepover!)

Did you know there is no actual sleep at a sleepover? It's mostly screaming, screeching, some crying, unnatural high pitched sounds that could rival waterboarding for torture, games that make no sense, and did I say there is no sleep? None whatsoever! Even the kids who say they're tired start doing things like belching uncontrollably or thinking of new ways to make unusual sounds with various body parts. There is writing on faces, writing on dogs, semi-nudity, terrorizing of the neighbors, terrorizing of the siblings, races around the house (with and without pets, with and without clothing), and general mayhem. Add to this the idiot parents (meaning Kelly) who supply mass quantities of sugar, carbs, and soda that puts the "sleepover" participants into a state of near manic derangement.

Both parties started at about 7pm and ended around 10am. The kids (3rd graders Friday, 5th graders Saturday) probably "went to bed" (which is code for "finally passed out") around 4am both nights. They started to "go to bed" at around midnight. We watched movies, ate cake and pizza and drank soda. There were chips and cookies and crackers and bubbles flying everywhere (and I mean everywhere - we found some in a tree outside). There was a pinata. We made tie-dyes, played sticker games and ball games, did makeovers, played outside, and someone had the idea to put others into "trances". At that point, we learned the true definition of DRAMA. DRAMA has to be in caps, because for some reason, there are actually groups of kids who categorize themselves (and will actually admit to being) overly dramatic - they are proud to be this way. Now, I will admit that I was not the friendliest of teenagers (my nickname was "piranha" - and I can laugh about it now). But, I don't think I was too big on the DRAMA (I was too busy being pissed off at all the stupid people!) We had some BIG DRAMA Saturday night. All I can say is that I'm terrified of the coming years. Terrified. The only thing I've ever been terrified by before was using the old outhouse up north (the new one, of course, is spectacular!)

I think there were two especially memorable quotes, both occurring on Saturday. The first was when I caught a group trying to "sled" down the stairs in their sleeping bags (see, we have two sets of staircases - this could have snowballed into ER visits!) After being told not to do that, that it was a bit too dangerous (and not a good example for Matthew who would certainly try it immediately), the young lady responded, "Well, you can't blame us for trying, right?" She had a point. The second quote is courtesy of Todd. After listening in on a DRAMAtic scene of some kind, he said, "Ok, listen up: Kelly was nice. I'm not nice. I have no qualms about calling your parents right now at 3am to have them come and pick you up. So, settle down and go to sleep. Good night." He's so smart - why didn't I think to threaten them with their parents! Ohh, wait, sleep deprivation clouded my judgement.

I got up early next morning (me, not Todd, who the first night hid in the basement and the second night pretended to be dead!) I got breakfast and drinks ready and had the pleasure of waking them all up. I was nice - I let them "sleep in" a little while. I'd have used Bucky, but he was passed out from exhaustion (and we think had some temporary hearing loss). Everyone seemed to have fun, so I guess the parties were a success. But, when Allison asks for a sleepover in a month I have a better idea: Dinner and movie night - NO SLEEPOVER! Now, why didn't I think of that before!

An interview with Matthew

Matthew's teachers asked him some questions the other day about mom and dad. Here a few of the questions and answers - they're quite interesting.

My daddy is 20 years old.

My daddy's favorite person is me.

My daddy's favorite food is hot dogs.

My daddy's favorite game is ball.

My daddy's favorite thing to do is computer.

My mommy is 33 years old.

Her favorite place to shop is at the store.

She likes to cook "scetties".

Her favorite person is the doctor.

her favorite thing to eat is hot dogs.

Her favorite game is driving cars.

Her favorite thing to do is paint a picture.

Who knew I was a cradle robber??? Or, I just look tired and old. Must be all the hot dogs...

Julia's (almost) big day!

Julia turned 9 today. She is feeling pretty old. She requested a cookie cake - mom actually was able to create it. It is gone. Matthew is mostly responsible for that. He is now bouncing off the walls and looks like he has a goatee (not a good look, incidentally).

Tomorrow night is the "big deal" sleepover party that ought to kill me... We'll have pictures, but I can't promise them before sometime next week (I anticipate a several-day recovery). Amanda's sleepover is Saturday night. Maybe it'll be a several week recovery.

Getting Dressed...by Matthew

I got dressed. All by myself. I didn't like the way mom had put some clothes on me, so I took off my clothes. She told me to get dressed. So, I did.

Lesson #424: If you tell them to get dressed, but don't specify where to put what, it's your own fault.

Garbage can full of water + 5 children = Swimming extravaganza!!!

We siphon our bathtub to use as (and I'm not making this up - there's an actual term for it) "grey water" for our "lawn" (which more or less resembles a cracked desert landscape with patches of weeds and Bucky's "lawn ornaments"). I was going to do it a little later in the day (since you aren't supposed to water during the hottest part of the day or it evaporates quickly). See all the cool stuff we're learning because of the drought! Anyway, today it was a bit warm (about 80). Never to be ones to not think of new ways to destroy the house or cause mom to have to clean up really large and unusual messes, the kids had a brilliant idea: Hey, we bathed in it already - let's SWIM in it too! What fun. Ohh, and let's get the dog in it too. That'll be awesome fun. At least they wore swimming suits...at first. So, we have a new lesson:

Lesson #423: Water+children+dog = large mess, smelly dog, nude (or semi-nude) wet children, and neighbors that scratch their heads and wonder why it took so long for you to figure out how to get that birth control to work.

I Never Thought I'd Say....

"Matthew, you are not allowed to pee on the dog."

(Todd-4/20/2008)

(Sadly, we don't have any pictures of the event. How do you even anticipate such a thing?)

Why you should not let 4-year olds cook

Okay, this week's lesson actually took about a week in order to make its point. And, with every lesson, we have to remind ourselves of the first lesson:

Lesson #1: You wanted kids. You brought this on yourself. They didn't ask to be here, you made them come. Are you having fun yet?

Most of the time, it really is fun. Or, more specifically, FUNNY. Especially when you get to read this and don't have to clean it up. So, here is our next lesson...

Lesson#422: Never let a 4-year old "cook" in the kitchen without making sure you know WHAT he is cooking and (more importantly) WHERE he puts the "food" when he's done.

In Matthew's case, he was making "blueberry muffins". In his world, you make these muffins in a canister (see picture). The muffins are made with whatever you find in the canister (in this case, dry active yeast). You add some water. Then, an egg. Then, salami. And, you put in whatever else you think would be good for blueberry muffins. You stir it up with the handy spoon that is right there and then put the lid on it. You then slide it back next to all the other canisters and go off to bury the phone in the mud or play with your mom's makeup case. After, say, a week you have a really evil concoction that smells truly, unequivocally, in-your-face BAD. I think Julia described it best when she mentioned more than once, "Hey, what smells like bad fish food in here?" I finally went on the search today because, whatever this was, it was really getting bad. But, I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I looked BEHIND the canisters, in all the cabinets, under the dishwasher. It smelled like it was near the canisters. So, finally, I looked IN the canisters. one by one. It was in the smallest one (of course!) After I recovered from the "smell shock wave" I saw what resembled a goopy, bubbly brown-yellow soup that I briefly thought of bottling to use to wake up the kids next week after Spring Break ends (it really would have worked!) But, I figured it'd eat a hole in the bottom of any container that didn't have some kind of titanium reinforcement. I dumped it out and am now soaking the container in boiling water.

When I told Todd of the discovery, he remarked, "Ohh, yes, he was cooking last week. He was making muffins."

Allison the top Tiger of the game

The Orange Tigers battled against The Sharks in soccer action Wednesday. Matthew kept himself entertained by watching an empty field (see picture). There were 4 different scorers for the team, including what the coach called "The best goal he's seen this season" from Allison. It was long kick that sailed past a goalie who was actually quite good. She celebrated the night by coming down with a cold and passing out early next to a dehumidifier. She did, however, recover the next morning (after we let her sleep in an hour - thinking she'd be home all day). She got herself dressed and announced that she wanted to go to school so that, "I won't miss anything to learn." When told of her quote, her older sisters shook their heads in stunned disbelief (and I thought I heard a comment or two to the effect of, "Yeah, she'll figure out how crazy that is pretty soon!")

I'm ready for my closeup...

There are a few things that you should keep away from children. The obvious things are weapons, sharp objects, things that can cause them injury, or things they can use to destroy the house or seriously maim parents. The LESS obvious things can cause usually less serious damage and often (later) lots of laughing. Sometimes, though, you can get instant entertainment. Last night was one of those instances.

New lesson learned: #421 Put any and all make-up cases that resemble, say, watercolor painting sets out of the reach of 4-year old boys. This follows the last entry of #420 "Never leave a phone outside where a 4-year old can find it."

He was downstairs when he did this. I was upstairs. Todd said he thought he heard him "doing something." Todd forgot lesson #31: "Know what they are doing at all times, especially if it's not making a lot of noise." Matthew came upstairs to tell me something (as if I wouldn't notice what he'd done to himself if he ALSO had something to tell me). When I brought him down to show Todd his handiwork, Todd's only response (after he stopped laughing) was a stern, "NEVER let me see you do this again."

Why do moms go to hospitals???

Apparently, in Matthew's world, there is only one reason to go to the hospital when you are a mom: It is strictly for having another baby (whether or not you are pregnant).

I had the pleasure last night of experiencing the joy of ...appendicitis. Okay, maybe there was more vomiting than joy (a lot more). On a positive note, I don't ever have to worry about having it again! I was there for less than 24 hours, they kept my appendix (sadly, there are no pictures), and I got some lovely parting bruises and residual carbon dioxide gas left in my abdomen. Good times!

I have to add that we have fantastic neighbors. I had two neighbors help get my car back to the house and get me to the hospital, and another who came down to wait with me during the tests, another who bravely stayed the night with the 4 Linskey kids and got them all off to school, and still others who have made us meals and wished us well. Todd was in San Diego when most of this happened, so all this was really that much more appreciated. Even though we don't live near family, it's almost like we do :)

When Matthew came with Dad and the girls to pick me up today, he said hi and then came over to me (looking around for something) and asked, "Where's the baby?" He got over the fact that there was no baby, and everyone is home now getting ready for bed

Have a great weekend everyone :)

Softball, Soccer, and lots of Littlest Pet Shop

Softball and soccer are underway! Both Julia's "The Attack" and Allison's "Orange Tigers" were victorious (17-9 amd 6-2, respectively). Julia had her first ever hit, and scored. Allison scored two goals. Matthew only ran on the field once...

Matthew made a new friend (although I think he was more interested in the toys she had!!!)

More games will follow this weekend :)