2020 - The year we all became Vegas

 

(Everybody’s losing money, it’s acceptable to drink anytime, we’re rarely appropriately dressed, and nobody has any idea what day it is)

 

·         Amanda graduated …and we celebrated with a nice yard sign (that’s the same, right?)

·         Julia got to live the college dream of drinking with her parents on her 21^st birthday! 

·         Allison cannot appropriately express in words how thoroughly she is enjoying the academic splendor that is Zoom University.

·         Hiked almost enough to burn off the crazy caused by the pandemic.  Almost.

·         Matthew finally surpassed Julia and is now 2nd in the Linskey Family height competition (but he still won’t eat vegetables!)

Amanda – Cal Poly SLO 2020 Graduate (BS Forestry, Biology minor)

Before the forests were all on fire, they were closed because of Covid.  And then earthquakes.  So, nobody was hiring Forestry graduates. 

Forestry grads make excellent Vons grocery store deli clerks. 

“Like two children in the back of a minivan fighting over a bag of Cheetos.”  – Amanda’s review of the first Presidential debate

Working in the deli has inspired Amanda to apply to the renowned Exotic Animal and Training Management program at Moorpark College.

 

Julia – College Senior (CSU–Long Beach – Nursing)

Escaped the house to do zoom classes from an apartment in Long Beach and work at a smoothie shop.  She’s the most sane of us all now.

Learned that RuPaul is NOT a drag RACER. 

Admitted that she thought “Houston” was the guy astronauts called with their problems. 

“Leg elbow” – the phrase Julia uses when she forgets the easily forgotten technical term of “knee.”

“My entire childhood is summed up by the sound of a kickball hitting you on the side of the head.” -Julia’s comment on her graceful youth

 

Allison – College Sophomore (CSU Monterey Bay - Marine Science)   

Gets exhausted by taking naps.

Realized after 7 seasons of Letterkenny that it was based in Canada and NOT Ireland.

Might transfer schools, which still means classes in her fabulously appointed bedroom/potential Covid isolation room.

“Me: 0   Sesame: 2”  - Allison, after her second “incident” with her dietary archnemesis.  And, Kelly learned there is sesame in breadcrumbs.

 

Matthew – High School Sophomore (St. Bonaventure High School)

FINALLY got to take his drivers test…and passed with a better score than his sisters (and he reminds them every chance he gets).

“Matthew, if your toast isn’t darker than me then it’s not toast.” (Julia)

“I have to study the Holy Trilogy for my religion final.” – Matthew during spring final exams in his room

“Your honor, I disagree because that’s stupid.” – Allison impersonating Matthew if he were to become a lawyer

 

Bucky – age 13 ½ - “Wow, how old is your dog?”

Discovered he is a very jealous boy when he had to share the stage with a shunned and temporarily adopted cliff swallow named Reginald. 

Reginald was number one on his list of “foods that MUST be tried.”  He failed, but not for lack of trying.

“This dog has had more flavor in his lifetime than a Medieval English peasant.” (Julia)

Has added mechanical boxes and his own shadow to his list of “things that must be barked at.”

Has started wearing a light-up collar at night.  This is partly so he can be seen, and partly so he can fulfill his dream of being a disco dog.

We thankfully managed to get through 2020 with a few adventures, a lot of Netflix, sufficient toilet paper, and our sanity minimally intact.    Along with everyone else in the world (except maybe mask manufacturers and Zoom investors), we hope 2021 brings an effective vaccine, a return to school, something that resembles “normal,” and hopefully a HUGE party!  Happy New Year!  (It just has to be better than last year! )

 

 

 

 

 

Todd, Kelly, Amanda, Julia, Allison, Matthew and Bucky

2019 …

Happy December 2019!  Our kids are all in high school or college.  We forgot what we did most of the year due to our advancing age. But, here are a few things we think happened:

·         Experienced our first “for real” earthquakes over the summer.  And, of course, we had several more wildfires. 

·         If you need anything done with a chainsaw or texture gun, Todd is your man. 

·         Our hiking trips continued to both old and new destinations and featured several new and improved attempts at injury.

·         Julia tells us all about gross stuff she sees in her nursing life. Not sure if this is better than her previous obsession with dog videos. 

·         After one week, Allison ditched the dream of the swashbuckling life of an accountant for marine science. 

·         Matthew has surpassed mom and Allison and is now currently ranked 3rd in the Linskey Family height competition.

 

Amanda – College SUPER Senior (Cal Poly SLO - Forestry)

“Amanda ready”:  No shoes, maybe dressed, almost packed, usually 10-15 minutes from actually being ready.

Dispenses reassuring Forestry advice.  Example: “They look weird, but they are probably edible.”

Returned to Japan, discovered more anime, and stunned to learn that sumo wrestlers basically get that big eating only soup.

Answered the eternal question plaguing mankind:  Do cows roll or slide if they fall down a hill.  (It’s both).

Julia – College Junior (CSU–Long Beach – Nursing)

When asked what a philatelist collects, she hypothesized that it was someone who collects romance novels about “Phil.”

Learned there is no difference between a “Bruin” and a “Bear.” 

Drove home from school with her phone on top of the car.  Learned not to do that again.

Has serious trouble ordering cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. 

Freely admits that she has not been to a gym all year. 

Allison – College Freshmen (CSU Monterey Bay – Marine Science)   

Has actually been to the gym this year. 

Routinely stays up until 2 or 3 am and thinks this is normal. 

Texts in cavewoman.  May be related to the above fact. 

Tried to blow herself up lighting the grill to make Bratwurst. Apparently, it was worth it.  Priorities.

The rest of us are disappointed with her hatred of this Christmas letter.  Especially Bucky.

Matthew – High School Freshman (St. Bonaventure High School)

What I hate (by Matthew):  1) Hiking 2) Dryland 3) Vegetables 4) Unnecessary shopping 5) REI 6) Etc.

Has determined that the next Frozen sequel should include the song, “Keep It In.”

“Welcome to meeting me.” and “It’s lonely out here on crazy island” were both overheard from a brooding Matthew.

 “I don’t waste my life doing stuff for other people.”  (Matthew – in a moment of brutal honesty)

Renamed “cream cheese” to “cheese cream.”  This is a follow-up to his prior renaming triumph of “waffle sauce.”

Bucky – age 12 ½ - “Bumpasaurus”

After years of attacking bushes to relieve himself, one finally struck back and punctured his eye.  He has not learned from this mistake.

Dreams of becoming a “pirate dog.” 

Given the chance, he will eat an entire corn cob.  It is now number one on his list of “foods that MUST be tried.”

Can only take a bath in a kiddie pool (partly because he can’t go upstairs anymore, partly because he is afraid of water from a hose).

Has added “anything he THINKS he hears, even if it’s nothing” and tipped-over garbage cans to his list of “things that must be barked at.”

Often “fake shakes” (as if he is freezing) when forced to spend time outside in our brutal California (70 degrees and sunny) climate.

Have and a safe and happy 2020!  

Go Badgers/Packers/Mustangs/Dirtbags/Otters/Seraphs!

Todd, Kelly, Amanda, Julia, Allison, Matthew and Bucky

Whitney and hikes

Annual Christmas Letter 2018

2018 …

Happy December 2018!  Almost 2019.  That means our kids are even older and, shockingly, so are we.  A few highlights to share include: 

·         Officially decided to not leave California…for maybe a few years

·         Kelly started doing “extreme hiking.”  Todd just calls this “walking.”  Are 8-23 mile day hikes extreme?  You decide.

·         Amanda has continued her studies in Forestry, and somehow has managed to (for the most part) avoid actual forests. 

·         Julia was not accepted into the engineering program at Long Beach.  This is good because she actually applied to the nursing program. 

·         Allison has decided to possibly seek out the swashbuckling life of an accountant.

·         After finally surpassing his oldest sister, Matthew is now currently ranked 5^th in the Linskey Family height competition.                                                  

                                                                                                                                                

Amanda – College Senior (Cal Poly SLO - Forestry w/Wildlife Biology Concentration)

Spent a few months at the Southwest Research Station in Arizona.  She got to visit New Mexico (AGAIN!)  Possibly because she got lost.

Should never fall back on being a manicurist as a second career.

Her weapon of choice is an axe.  If she is ever attacked by a tree, this might be useful.

Cited “fear of hiking” as her number one reason for staying in college. 

Discovered that you should never, ever buy “Gourmet Italian Lunchables” from the 99¢ store.   

Julia – College Sophomore (CSU–Long Beach – Nursing)

After swearing she’d never do chemistry again, she now teaches it.  Be thankful she’s not teaching anyone Geography or “the maths.”

Started her nursing career off by giving dad a flu shot.  Dad spared Matthew irreversible PTSD when he resisted his urge to shriek.

Made the following comment: “When I swim with fins, I go slow … faster.”

When bored one day, she calculated what her weight would be if the measure of weight was based on squirrels (115 squirrels = 1 Julia)

“I feel like the Millennial CEO of a hipster coffee company.”  (Julia’s comment regarding her “look” before her nursing interview)

Allison – High School Senior (And counting the days until graduation…)   

Made it a year without an injury.  Or catching some new and exciting 19^th century illness. 

She is the human version of Eeyore.  She might even get a tattoo of it.  Eeyore truly is the embodiment of Princess Grumpy Pants.

Milestones of the year include watching every episode of Brooklyn 99, The Office, and every Fail Army video ever made.. 

Can eat an entire pan of enchiladas by herself and may injure you if you try to take one.  You think I’m kidding. Try it.  I dare you.

Her most exciting triumph of the year was discovering sloth-themed wrapping paper.

Matthew – Catholic Middle School 8^th Grader

Has also taken up hiking.  When he’s forced to.  (Or as he puts it, “I hate it when you come up with bribes I can’t say no to.”)

“I’m on my own server destroying stuff.  Allison is building low-income housing.” (Matthew describing Allison’s lack of Minecraft skills).

When bored, Matthew steals mom’s phone and sends selfies of himself with a moustache exclaiming, “I’m Ron Swanson!” (see photo).

Weighs approximately 91 squirrels.

Binge-watched “The Great British Baking Show” so much that he wanted to try his hand at some of their recipes…and quickly discovered

   why there are no English Restaurants.

Bucky – age 11 ½ - “Bumpasaurus”

Has added wood bridges and weed whackers to his list of “things that MUST be barked at.”

Discovered that his spirit animal is a large outdoor plant.

Solidified his “grumpy old man” dog status by groaning every single time he sits down.  Or gets up. Or, really, moves at all.

Was introduced to “gnat water,”  a mysteriously refreshing and robust potpourri of water, bugs, and possibly cholera.

Has added “things next to garbage cans,” “things next to children,” and “things in anyone’s pocket” to his list of “foods that MUST be tried.”

 “A realistic approach to life coupled with optimism and a sprinkle of humility is truly the recipe for happiness.”

Have and a safe and happy 2019!

Todd, Kelly, Amanda, Julia, Allison, Matthew and Bucky